I have really been struggling with when/if I should write another book.
I have struggled for who knows how many hours over the topics and over the invasive nature of writing. Â It takes time, thought, prayer, struggle, time, time and time.
I happen to love my ministry role at [nlcf] and my family even more that that. Â So, Tracy and I have really struggled with this decision. Â I have a wonderful agent who has helped in my thought process about the book and has never really pushed me either way, several good friends who have helped me work through different ideas and timelines, so I feel like I have had every benefit I could ask for. Â But I still couldn’t decided what to do. Â A couple of weeks ago I decided I needed to take some more time to really decide. Â And through a number of different avenues, I think I have.
I wanted to share an amazing email I got from Bill (who asked that I change his name.) Â He is a minister (in a state that is farther west than Virginia) and is in ministry (of some type) Â 🙂
The reason I am sharing this email is that he states in it the exact reason I started writing the first book. Â If you are interested in reading what he said, take a look after the jump. Â I appreciate his giving me permission to do so.
Dear Jim,
I am an assistant pastor at a church in (somewhere east of Virginia). Recently I was at a mall with my wife. She wanted to “look†around in a few stores, and I told her I would pick up a book and read while she shopped. Browsing one of those national chain bookstores in the mall, I ran across your book, Should We Fire God? I was intrigued enough by the title that I gave the back flap a once-over.
I decided to buy the book because I thought I might get some sermon material from it. However, my interest in the book went far deeper. Its content struck a chord with some of my own struggles with God. In contrast to you, I have never questioned God’s reality, goodness, availability, or love when bad things happened to other people. My frustrations have been more personal…….and selfish. I can always articulate the “company lines†about the original sin/curse, free-will choices/consequences, loving Father/discipline, and storms/spiritual growth things. But when the bad things are happening to ME, I am much less theological and much more whiningly indignant (i.e., Why is this happening to ME God? What have I done to deserve this? I am doing the best I can to do YOUR work. All I ask is that You cover my back! If You are all-loving/all-caring, and if You are in control, and if You bless those whose hearts are totally Yours, and if I am not being blessed (according to MY standards), then A.) there are exceptions to Your love and compassion, or B.) I am in Your spiritual doghouse, or C.) I lost my salvation when I “backslid†as a teenager and young adult, or D.) You don’t exist (really just a fleeting thought from time to time). I seem to go through periods of extreme spirituality interrupted by lapses of doubt, mostly involving “C.†Anyway, that is my journey.
The reason I am writing to you is that a lady in our church stopped by my office yesterday. She said she had a question she wanted to ask me. Her question was, “Do you believe God is in control all of the time?†I told her that I truly did believe that God was in control all of the time, but that He was not controlling all of the time. As an illustration, I told her that when my children were teenagers, I took them out on country roads and taught them to drive our family car. They sat in the driver’s seat and made choices on steering the car, depressing the gas pedal/clutch/brake, etc. To an observer it would have appeared that I was not in control of those situations because I was only a passenger. However, I was in complete control because I could have ended the driving session at any time. I could have moved back into the driver’s seat and could even have reached across my driving child and took hold of the steering wheel. However, in order for them to learn how to handle the car, I chose to let them do the driving. If they had made a bad decision to drive too fast and recklessly, and as a result had run off the road and into a ditch, there would have been consequences. This is not what I would have wanted for them, or for me, but the risk of consequences was necessary in order for them to learn how to drive. I was exercising control, but was not controlling. She seemed satisfied and said that my answer was the best one she had gotten so far. However, I wasn’t convinced that she had been convinced.
She doesn’t believe God is always in control of every situation because her father had been shot and killed by a man when she was a girl. Although she is now in her late sixties, she still weeps when she recounts that tragedy. She also stated that if God is in control all of the time, how can you account for the rape of a 12-year old girl (used as an example)? Her deductive reasoning leads her to conclude that if God were in control all of the time, bad things would not happen to good people.
I brought my copy of your book to the office with me today. This afternoon I plan to drop it off to her and encourage her to read it. Should We Fire God? represents the most complete and honest analysis on these difficult questions I have ever read. It has helped me, and I am sure it will help her.
I don’t expect that my whining episodes are over, and won’t know until the next personal crisis hits, but you have encouraged me to minimize the whining and have a more open, intimate, and honest dialogue with God. I think “D†is just one of those fiery darts Paul wrote about in Ephesians, and I don’t really feel it is even an issue. All in all, I have a pretty strong belief. “A†and “B†are spiritual weaknesses that I fully believe I will overcome. I know the truth in my heart; I’ve just got to get it more into my thinking. But that “C†thing – well that one is tough. Did I throw away my chance? Did I “return to the vomit,†“take my hand from the plow,†etc. Is it impossible to renew me because Christ can’t be re-crucified? Could someone who is really saved drift as far away from God as I did? You get the picture.
Thank you for writing this book. I just wanted to say that. I know it took a lot of time out of your already hectic life. But, because you made the sacrifice to write down your struggles and conclusions, many people are going to be strengthened in their walk of faith, and encouraged to spend more time just hanging out with God – and being honest with him. That is what I plan to do. Actually, I have already started.
Gratefully Yours,
Bill 🙂
It isn’t that God needed me to write the book, he could have led any number of people to do it. Â But he allowed me to have this incredible opportunity and guided me to write a book that is able to help some of those who struggle with issues of belief in God’s goodness. This isn’t the only reason I feel like God is leading me to start another one, far from it, Â but it does matter in the whole process.
So, carefully, excitedly and hopefully faithfully, I am going to start the process again. Â No guarantees that a publisher will want the book, so it might be a short process. Â But here we go again.
Dave Blum said...
1Anticipating what God prompts you to write … and glad that you are taking the next step in the journey of faith.
Endeavor, Adventure, Resolution, Discovery!
06/18/10 3:45 PM | Comment Link
jim said...
2Dave, First of all, great to speak with you a couple of weeks ago. It had been far too long. Also, thank you for your kind words, I have really struggled with this decision for much longer than I anticipated I really would. Excited to finally get moving on it!
Jim
06/22/10 12:22 PM | Comment Link