On Sunday, one of my closest friends in the world, Matt Rogers, told [nlcf] about an issue that he doesn’t want in his life – he told [nlcf] about his struggle with homosexuality. It was a very brave thing to do, as there are people in [nlcf] that will be frustrated at him for struggling with homosexuality while being on staff with a church, especially in the role of pastor. And they will share that frustration with Matt.
There are also people in [nlcf] that will be frustrated by Matt’s belief that homosexuality isn’t something that lines up with God’s plan for us, and as such, he is working to shift to a heterosexual orientation. They would see that plan as unwise and the issue of his sexuality to be a neutral one. And they will share that frustration with Matt as well.
Those of you that have been following the thread about my friend who struggles with his homosexuality… this is the friend. Those that have been reading the blog will notice I changed the title of this thread. Both Matt and (I believe) Curtis made the point I should change it. So…viola…
I thought Matt spoke about his life in a very open, honest and thoughtful way.
I asked if I could share his story.
He graciously agreed.
Matt? Take it away…
I talk to a lot of people. I mean A LOT of people.
Partially because I am a people guy. I really like them. I believe that each person I meet is a very important and individual creation of God. That makes each of them far more important than they or I can imagine. So…I am a big fan.
But I also am in ministry. I am a pastor of an amazing and flawed church everyone calls [nlcf]. Granted, it isn’t a very traditional church and I may not be the most traditional pastor, but one thing that being a pastor predicatably brings is you talk with a lot of people. 
I mean A LOT of people.
This is not a problem, because I am a fan, remember? 
One of the things I talk with a lot of people about, whether they are followers of Jesus or not, is God. Again, predictable. When I talk with people about God obviously there is a range of things we discuss, but one thing comes up more than most.
The list.
Now almost no one uses that term, but that is what it is. It is the list of the things that make getting closer to God harder. The times that we tried to trust him and it didn’t work out, the times that we asked for something and it didn’t happen. Various relationships that might have fallen apart even though we desperately didn’t want them to. The people in our family or beyond them, that suffer from debilitating illness or have lost the fight to that illness. Jobs that have been lost or cannot be found. Unfairness that seems to be everywhere. So often, those that don’t deserve to win do, and those that could really have used that win, don’t.
Here is what can happen. I say can because it doesn’t happen all the time to everyone, but in my experience it does happen to almost all of us at some point. What can happen is that we take those times where we feel that God didn’t step in as he should and we add many of them to our list. The times God has not been predictable or has not handled things the way we would want him to. We take them, remember them…and when the times comes to really step out in trust with God again, we don’t.
well… here we are… 2010. wow.
so, there have been a lot of postings on the blog since i have last meaningfully posted myself. in my last post, i said that i would answer stephen’s questions of why is this an issue at all? very fair question and a good one to look at.
what have done is posted the link to a series [nlcf] did, probably 7ish years ago. it is called, the hate people. the premise is that often the church (or at least the evangelical portion of it) has been characterized by a fairly small subset of attention grabbing individuals. they believe what they say and are allowed to say it. and they get the lion’s share of the microphone time.
and they often do not at all represent what i think. or what many of my friends think.
so we posed the question, are Christians the hate people? we seem to be known for what we are against, what we picket, what we protest. is that a clear representation of Christ’s heart for our generation?
we asked the questions: does God hate those who worship other religions, homosexuals, the environment and women? all issues that we felt were very intense, and ones where i (and many others) would say our views are misunderstood or misrepresented.
i include the talk i did on the issue of homosexuality with a few caveats. the first; remember, i did this talk six or seven years ago. you will notice that i use you know quite a bit, i also really seemed to like the phrase, these things. you will hear it. alot. sorry. essentially, as a communicator i was still reasonably new, so you will see some of that. also related to that, i have a misstatement about the old testament. i essentially said it did not apply any longer. i was referring to how some components don’t, you will see that when you hear the comment. it just came out wrong.
secondly; some of the terms i used then would be different now. partially that is because i have some greater clarity on how some of those terms can strike people, and some of that is from the fact that preferences about some of those terms have changed over the years.
thirdly, as my life with God continues, i continue to grow and evolve in my understanding of who He is and how He feels about humanity and the universe we inhabit. so to say that my views are exactly what they were when this talk was given, would be to assume that i haven’t grown or changed at all. i will say that some of my views have changed, but enough are similar enough, that this talk still describes my views well.
finally, my friend chris backert handled two of the talks. he and i were very close then and are still today, but i make no claims as to whether or not he holds all of the views he shared exactly as they were shared then.
as for the myriad of questions and accusations or indications of frustration at what i am doing or not doing/thinking or not thinking/representing or not representing, by supporting my friend… i will look at those again over the next few days and decide if i feel that i need to reply to any of them. i am aware of some peoples’ perceptions of me based on my views. i am not sure anything i say will convince anyone differently and will hope that those who know me the best will see Christ the most clearly in me. while many of them were either frustrating or hurtful to read, discussion like this one will bring those out. it is what it is, eh?
peace.
Great news! The audiobook version of Matt Rogers‘ When Answers Aren’t Enough is here. You can download it from iTunes or Audible.com. Just search for Matt Rogers at either online store and you’ll find it.
Please help spread the word, too. Could you blog about it? Post a link on your Facebook wall? Mention it in your Facebook status? Tweet about it if you’re on Twitter? If you know someone who prefers hearing books to reading them and who might find solace in what Matt has written, could you point them to the audiobook? You can even give the book to someone through iTunes. Look for the “Gift This Audiobook” link.
Thanks for helping get out the word!
Have they lost their minds? Perhaps just lowered their standards?
Here is an article that catalystspace published a few weeks ago. It was an honor that they would want to publish an account that I had written about a very powerful and shaping experience in [nlcf]’s life… It is a bit long, sorry, I don’t know what to do with that!
Ready to Weigh In
After you have been misquoted for a while, don’t you just get to the point where you want to weigh in? Homosexuality is one of those issues where I feel like my personal views as an apprentice of Jesus Christ are often misquoted. People like me don’t tend to write editorials or hold sandwich signs during Gay Rights Day. I stand back and watch as the louder voices on each side of the issue get the press coverage. It seems like all that I get is misunderstood, mischaracterized, and maligned. And there is a growing group of people like me.
During a Fall Semester, the church I help pastor, New Life Christian Fellowship or [nlcf] at Virginia Tech, decided it was time to get our opinion on the table. When I read about the woman caught in adultery, or how Jesus approached Zaccheaus, or even how he was seen as a friend of sinners, I wondered how he would have dealt with the issue. I neither wish to give up my personal pursuit of holiness and Christ-likeness as I understand the Holy Scriptures call me to; nor do I wish to give up my newfound mercy that I am still learning to wield. (more…)
“Like an accomplished novelist, Jim Pace holds your attention, like a thoughtful pastor he deals with reality compassionately, and like a wise guide he helps us to live more honestly. If you have ever wrestled with the problem of evil, this is a must read!”
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