(first line and title edited from earlier version)
I have a friend who is same sex attracted.
The friend I am talking about would technically
be considered a non-practicing male homosexual. He would also describe himself as someone who struggles with his same sex attraction.
my friend is mostly excited about the opportunity to be open about his life.
mostly.
let me make sure i am clear. he is, and has been, open about everything else in his life – and with several close friends, he has been open about everything for years. and so he is mostly excited about having the chance to be open with all of his life.
not so he can talk about himself all the time/not so he can speak without restraint whenever he wants. he is just mostly excited that finally, when he feels led by God, he can use his example/speak from his experience/demonstrate that he understands an aspect of life that many don’t.
mostly.
my friend (rightly i believe) anticipates taking heat from both sides of this debate. the fact that he is a leader in a church will be very upsetting to some in the conservative community. some that haven’t had any issues with him up to that point, likely will. this, for some, is a very hot-button issue. very emotionally charged. for some, it isn’t just an issue of sin, it is an example of how sinful people can be.
i remember a few years ago the church i help lead, [nlcf], did a series called “the hate people”. in it, we asked the question, has the christian community described God’s views of women, homosexuals, people the follow other religions and the environment accurately. are we truly the hate people?
in that series i handled the issue of homosexuality and said that while i don’t believe the bible condones or supports homosexuality, the idea that member of the lgbt (lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgendered) community are somehow worse than anyone else is preposterous. i then went to great lengths to try to explain why i thought the scriptures demonstrated that. we are all broken, we are all in need of healing. i shared how a member of the lgbt community could be a forgiven follower of Jesus just like anyone else could.
after that talk, we lost a number of members – and also a fairly substantial amount of financial support – because i said that i wished the scriptures were neutral on homosexuality (i don’t enjoy seeming intellectually backward or old-fashioned) and because i didn’t refer to homosexuality an abomination (i used a translation that used a different – and i think a more true to the original language – word). i made some conservatives very angry with that talk.
i think my friend will do the same.
i also think he will make some liberals angry as well. i anticipate they will be very frustrated that he will share that he feels this is a part of himself that he wants to walk past. that he doesn’t feel his homosexuality represents who God created him to be, but rather represents a reflection of the hurt he has endured.
i know that when i did that talk, it made some of our more liberal members angry at me as well. they shared with me that they felt i wasn’t really looking at the issue, that i was just saying this because i had read it somewhere and that [nlcf] just needed to get a backbone and stand up for what is right.
but this isn’t about me or my church. it is about my friend.
i fear my friend will hear that and more. i fear that those who typically greatly value the ability to come to your own conclusions on important faith issues won’t allow my friend access to that freedom. i fear that those who greatly value the love of Jesus won’t demonstrate that love to my friend who is just as much a forgiven son of God as they are.
so, that is why my friend (and i) are mostly excited about his being open.
mostly.
next time, my friend will tell you what he is thinking himself.
Mike Filicicchia said...
1This is potentially the most difficult topic to address in church, simply because I’ve never seen anyone able to discuss it without pissing off someone or other. I realy respect you for being willing to weigh in on it despite the financial implications.
12/3/09 4:45 PM | Comment Link